Overcoming adversity and making genuine connections with others are more successful when we allow our true selves to show through. The self, or identity, is the sum of our experiences, morals, and though processes learned from family, caregivers, school, church, society, and every other group and concept we have been exposed to. Many of us have a tendency to create false identities to tell other people what we think they want to hear. We need to consciously push aside the desire to please and be our real selves instead.
- Identity can be a bit like a spacesuit we wear once we’ve assimilated the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of others.
- There’s nothing wrong with wanting to belong, but it becomes problematic when in striving to belong, we compromise our inner truth.
- Living inauthentically happens when we always try to please others, and this will lead to resentments and anger.
“This identity can act, it can think, it can even feel – and we believe that this is the quintessential us because we’ve lived in it for so long and so hard that we think that this is who we are.”