by Kimberly Friedmutter, Ch.t
Like millions of Americans, you find you are unhappily married and ready to file for divorce or legal separation. Not uncommon and growing in numbers, divorce takes its toll on even the strongest of relationships. But what if you are on the fence about your unhappy ending? What if doing something simple could miraculously change your mind? These 3 important must do’s might have you fooled into believing you are unhappily married.
Believe it or not, the call to flee might be signaling your residence, décor or need for private space and not leaving your mate. Humans nest, both male and female. A man may have his modified garage as a sanctified man cave, whereas a woman has the kitchen? Many times, couples need a change of scenery in their living space but unfortunately translate this deep human need as a change of mates! This need for change can run as deep as moving homes, city or state or perhaps as simply as creating a garden room or redefining space as a craft room. Humans love to prepare for things, especially during the flurry of spring. If a baby is not in your future, nest for yourself and your husband. You’ll do yourself a favor by remembering how you wanted to decorate your first home together. You’ll be glad you devoted your energy toward building not breaking.
Take some time to go away. Perspective shifting is a powerful tool and it’s easy to do. Whether you head to your family’s house, spa or take the time for something more exotic, brain neurology shifts when you experience different scenarios. Simply leaving a routine can expand your awareness to the real cause of your unhappiness. Do you miss your mate? Do you appreciate your mate in their absence? Perhaps you are the happiest you’ve been in this scenario but wish your mate were with you. Once you gain perspective, you can be clear on what is really missing and find it!
3) Get plugged in!
More often than not, we see faults in our mate that we, ourselves possess. What may be unbearable in your day-to-day with your high school not so sweetheart might be your call to action for yourself. Are you the weight and health you wish to be? Are you engaged in a career or enjoying motherhood in all ways possible? This is the time to work on your personal expansion in order to know that the shortcomings of your mate are not just your own, looking back at you in the mirror. None of us are perfect, although feeling good about your efforts, in all ways possible, may reflect highly on your mate and relationship. Take realistic inventory of energy levels, outside interests, honesty, physicality and opportunity in order to be clear that you are plugged in and engaged toward success!
The mind will always want for something. We are wired for evolution by the drive to do more and do better. So before you decide your relationships are ending, you’ll do yourself service to explore these 3 important alternatives. Misdiagnosed cause for unhappiness is serious when it comes to divorce. Damaged relationships can simply be because another important primitive need is left unfulfilled.