May 23


How NOT to Say “I’m Sorry”

By Peter Julian

There are quite a few mistakes someone can make when apologizing. First, when you apologize don’t try to just end the conversation. Let the other person have a chance to talk and explain how they feel about the apology. If you apologize and then say but right after it, it makes the apology mean less because an excuse almost always comes after the word but. If you say if after your apology, it usually means you aren’t sorry about what you did, just how you made the person feel. So you’re basically calling them a victim and saying they shouldn’t have felt that way anyway. When apologizing, do it straight from the heart.

Key Takeaways:

  • When apologize, don’t try to make the apology the end of the conversation. Listen to what the other party has to say.
  • I’m sorry but is a terrible way of apologizing because using the word but means you are just going to make an excuse for your wrong doing.
  • I’m sorry if is another terrible way of apologizing because you’re not apologizing for what you did, you’re apologizing for how you made someone feel.

“An apology statement that concludes with a denial of fault, blame, or responsibility decidedly doesn’t hold you personally accountable for your impact on another person. Blame isn’t the issue here; what matters is how the other person has been affected.”

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