GDPR Privacy Policy

First Things First...

Thanks to Writers’ HQ, our supreme writing commanders, glorious leaders and excellent but tiny overlords, who have verily granted us permission to use their splendid and sweary Privacy Policy.

We have to have one of these dealios to explain how we comply with the GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation), the DPA (Data Protection Act) and the PECR (Privacy and Electronic Communications Regulations) because God knows there’s not enough actual interesting things in the world to read, you need to read 1,000 words of legalese nonsense that makes literally not one bit of difference to anyone, ever. Also we don’t really know what these things are. We’re just two under-heighted writers who thought we’d have a laugh.

Tl;dr (too long; didn't read)

In the grand scheme of things, we’re a tiny, overstretched business and we don’t have the time or energy to do anything nefarious with your data. It’s not that we’re not evil – we’re as corruptible as anyone – we’re just too tired to think up a malevolent plot to steal your identity.

We collect and store the info we need to provide you with the service and products you buy from us. We occasionally stalk you via Facebook adverts. We are however, rabidly dedicated to protecting your goodies! That’s really it.

COOKIES

Seriously who actually cares? Do you even know what a cookie is or does? Well then. Yes, we use cookies because that’s kinda how the Internet works. If you don’t want our delicious home-baked chocolate chip scripts, then you need to block cookies on your browser but don’t come crying to us when nothing does what it’s supposed to. Just sayin'.

STALKY VISITOR TRACKING

Look, we’re following you, ok? We use Google Analytics, primarily to stare at the real time stats because they’re cool but also to see what stuff people are looking at so we can write more of the stuff you like.

We also have the Facebook Pixel installed so that we can sell you stuff that we think you'll be interested in. 

Yes you heard it. We are a business and – shocker – we want you to spend money with us. The Facebook Pixel means that we can see how people interact with our site and with Facebook adverts and then we try to flog you relevant stuff. If you’ve not seen the Facebook Ads analytics dashboard MAN ALIVE it’s stalker central. That stuff is a terrifying Black Mirror horror show. If you’re not on Facebook – well done, but the pixel is tracking you anyway.

We also track our user's via Infusionsoft and Kartra.com, 3rd-party GDPR compliant ecommerce platforms that keep track of the sales and process and deliver our program sales and emails.

DATA STORAGE

DATA!! It’s all about the data, baby. A literal ton of petabytes whirring around the world and what? What’s it all for? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? What will future historians actually see of us and our slowly collapsing society? So. We store your data in a few different places and use it in a couple of different ways. You ready for this?

If you register for one of our free products or subscribe to our newsletter on the site we do not store your name and email address on our website. If you do or buy stuff from us we pass your name, email address, postal address, phone number if you give it to us, and purchase details to Infusionsoft or Kartra. Your payment details ARE NOT held on the site and are processed only by Infusionsoft or Kartra. We obviously go to the maximum effort to make sure our partners are GDPR certified to keep this data secure.

We’ll be honest: we do absolutely nothing surprising or radical with your info. We use your purchase history to target you with ads for stuff you might like. For e.g. if you buy a BrainStorm, we’ll occasionally ask you if you want to go on to another program that we know you would benefit from owning. If you’ve purchased one of our programs, we’ll occasionally ask you if you want to purchase another. Does that make us EvilMegaCorp? We don't thinks so, it’s fairly standard isn’t it?

Infusionsoft and Kartra. If you’ve signed up for anything or bought anything through our site – newsletter, free report, paid program, membership, merch, anything – your name and email address also wiggles its way over to either Kartra or Infusionsoft, which are the systems we also use to manage our newsletters and emails. They are both GDPR compliant. You can unsubscribe from emails at any time by hitting the unsubscribe button.

All our programs are delivered via either Kartra or Infusionsoft. It’s rad. When you purchase a program, your name, email address and the program you want to access is flung over to Kartra or Infusionsoft where it sits there and lets you access your course or, in some cases, triggers an email with your download instructions to be sent to the email you used during the purchase process. Totally GDPR compliant.

Zapier! This is the go-between between the website and some third party services. Your name, email address and program purchase (not purchase details) may travel through this system on the way to our other systems. Your data is held in the logs. 

YOUR PAYMENT DETAILS

When you buy stuff, you will either pay through Stripe or PayPal via an Infusionsoft or Kartra secure checkout page. We hold no payment-based details our site. We have no bank or card details or nada here. Stripe is GDPR compliant. PayPal is being totally weird about it but will have to be GDPR compliant or everyone in Europe will have to stop using it and probably they don’t want that. 

EMAIL MARKETING THINGIES AND NEWSLETTERS

If you sign up to our newsletter, we will send you a newsletter – generally around one a month, but occasionally more if there is more interesting stuff to tell you. Also, we will send you relevant information on products we think you'd be interested in. You can unsubscribe at any time by clicking the unsubscribe button in every email. Your name and email address are stored securely in Infusionsoft or Kartra and will be removed from those platforms when you unsubscribe.

If you purchase a program, we will send you emails about the program. The frequency of which depends on the program. You can unsubscribe but you’ll miss important stuff about the program.

Both Infusionsoft and Kartra automatically add tracking things to links so if you click on a link WE KNOW. If you open an email WE KNOW. If you ignore us reminding you to actually use your purchase... WE KNOW.

The most important thing about this is we have neither the time nor inclination to actually look at or do anything with these stats. 

YOUR RIGHT TO BE DELETED

OK THEN... WE DON’T CARE. If you want to go undercover, just chuck us an email at support@brainspeak.com and we’ll delete all the info we have on you from our systems while having a passive aggressive huff about what we could have possibly done wrong.

This does not include PayPal and Stripe, transaction processors for your purchases. If you want to delete your PayPal or Stripe accounts you have to do that yourself via PayPal or Stripe. We cannot delete your purchase history because the taxman will be terribly upset.

Just so you know, though, you won’t be able to access your purchases anymore. We’re not being puds, it’s because we need your email address so we know you’ve paid and that you’re allowed to access them. 

SOCIAL MEDIA AND ALL THAT STUFF

We use social media a lot, partly to promote our programs and articles but mostly as a vehicle for our to open relevant discussions about our creative musings and lack of intelligent political opinions. If you talk to us in our Facebook group or Facebook Messenger and we become familiar with you, we might find you on Twitter and say hello. You can ask us to be less friendly if you wish and we will of course respect your boundaries. You are not required to follow our social media accounts and we won’t ask our employees to temper themselves in the service of us. If they turn out to be racist, bigoted dipwads then we wanna know so we can tell them to go stuff it.

Got it? Read it? Done it? WELL DONE YOU! Celebrate your achievement with a gold star.